10 Ways to Have an Amicable Divorce in Florida
Divorce Doesn’t Have to Become a Battle
The decision to divorce may be difficult, but the way you divorce is still a decision you and your spouse can make.
Ending a marriage does not automatically mean hiring opposing attorneys, fighting over every issue, or allowing a judge to make important decisions about your finances, property, and children. For couples who are willing to participate in good-faith discussions and work toward resolution, there is another path.
An amicable divorce does not mean that you and your spouse agree about everything. It means you are willing to approach your disagreements with the goal of finding workable solutions rather than creating greater conflict.
At Peacemaker Mediation Group, we believe couples should be given the opportunity to make their own decisions whenever possible. Mediation provides a structured, neutral environment where spouses can discuss the issues that must be resolved, reach agreements, and move forward with dignity.
Here are ten ways to help keep your Florida divorce peaceful, productive, and focused on resolution.
1. Consider Mediation Before Litigation
One of the most important decisions you will make is how you will resolve the issues in your divorce.
In traditional litigation, each spouse generally hires an attorney to advocate for his or her position. When the parties cannot agree, unresolved issues may ultimately be decided by a judge.
Mediation takes a different approach.
A neutral mediator helps both spouses identify the issues that need to be resolved, communicate their concerns, consider possible solutions, and work toward mutually acceptable decisions.
The mediator does not take sides or decide who “wins.” The decisions remain with you and your spouse.
Mediation can address many of the same issues that arise in a litigated divorce, including:
- Division of the marital home and other property
- Retirement and investment accounts
- Marital debts
- Alimony
- Parenting plans and time-sharing
- Child support
- Other financial and family matters
When agreements are reached, those decisions can be incorporated into a comprehensive Marital Settlement Agreement and the documents required to complete the divorce.
2. Don’t Assume You Have to Agree on Everything Before Mediation
A common misconception is that mediation is only for couples who already agree on everything.
That isn’t the purpose of mediation.
You may agree about the house but disagree about retirement accounts. You may have resolved most financial matters but need help creating a parenting plan. One spouse may have a proposal for alimony that the other spouse does not believe is workable.
Those are precisely the kinds of discussions mediation is designed to facilitate.
What matters most is not whether you already agree. It is whether both spouses are willing to participate honestly, listen to one another, and make a genuine effort to reach resolution.
3. Practice Civil Discourse
You don’t have to be friends to have an amicable divorce.
You do, however, need to be able to discuss important issues without allowing every conversation to become a continuation of the problems that ended the marriage.
Try to separate the reasons for the divorce from the decisions that must now be made.
Instead of focusing on blame, ask practical questions:
What needs to be decided?
What information do we need?
What solution can each of us realistically live with?
Civil discourse does not require you to surrender your position. It simply creates an environment in which productive decisions are possible.
4. Keep Your Children Out of the Conflict
For parents, ending the marriage does not end the family.
Your relationship with one another is changing, but you will continue to share the responsibility of raising your children.
Children should not be asked to choose sides, carry messages between parents, or hear the details of adult disagreements. Whenever possible, decisions about parenting should focus on creating stability, consistency, and meaningful relationships with both parents.
Mediation allows parents to work together to develop a parenting plan and time-sharing arrangement that reflects the realities of their family’s schedules and their children’s needs.
A parenting plan created by two parents who know their children is often very different from a schedule created after an adversarial courtroom dispute.
5. Be Willing to Consider More Than One Solution
An amicable divorce requires flexibility.
There may be more than one fair way to divide property, structure an alimony obligation, address retirement assets, or create a parenting schedule.
Entering mediation with only one acceptable outcome can make resolution difficult. Instead, identify what is most important to you and distinguish those priorities from issues where compromise may be possible.
Compromise does not necessarily mean splitting everything down the middle. It means looking at the entire agreement and finding a combination of decisions that both spouses believe is fair and workable.
The goal is not for one person to win.
The goal is to create an agreement that allows both people to move forward.
6. Get Organized Before You Begin
Preparation makes mediation more productive.
Before discussing financial issues, both spouses should have a reasonably complete understanding of the marital finances.
Depending on your circumstances, useful information may include:
- Bank account statements
- Retirement and investment account balances
- Mortgage information
- Property values
- Credit card and other debt balances
- Income information
- Tax returns
- Insurance information
- Business interests, when applicable
Having accurate information available reduces uncertainty and allows mediation time to be spent discussing solutions rather than searching for numbers.
7. Be Financially Transparent
A successful mediated divorce depends upon both spouses having sufficient financial information to make informed decisions.
Attempting to conceal assets, minimize income, or withhold significant financial information undermines the process and can make meaningful negotiation impossible.
Transparency does not mean that you must automatically agree with your spouse’s interpretation of the finances. You may disagree about the value of an asset, whether something is marital or nonmarital, or how an account should ultimately be divided.
Those issues can be discussed.
But productive negotiations begin with both spouses having access to the information necessary to understand the financial picture.
8. Put Every Agreement in Writing
A verbal understanding is not enough.
Once decisions are made, the terms should be clearly and carefully documented in a written Marital Settlement Agreement.
A comprehensive agreement may address property, debts, retirement accounts, alimony, insurance, parenting responsibilities, time-sharing, child support, and other matters specific to the family.
Details matter.
Who is responsible for a particular debt? When will an account be transferred? Who will retain the marital residence? Is refinancing required? When does an obligation begin or end?
Clear language today can prevent disagreements years from now.
At Peacemaker Mediation Group, the decisions reached through mediation are placed into the appropriate agreements and divorce documents so the parties can review the actual written terms before moving forward.
9. Protect Your Privacy and Your Future Relationship
Divorce can create strong emotions, and social media makes it very easy to react publicly.
Usually, that does not help.
Avoid posting accusations, financial information, details about negotiations, or negative comments about your spouse online. Be equally cautious about involving friends, relatives, and especially children in private disagreements.
Ask yourself whether what you are about to say or post will help resolve the divorce—or make resolution more difficult.
This is particularly important when children are involved. You may no longer be spouses, but you may be attending graduations, weddings, birthdays, and family events together for many years.
How you handle the divorce can influence that future relationship.
10. Focus on the Life You Are Building, Not Just the Marriage You Are Ending
Divorce naturally causes people to look backward.
Resolution requires looking forward.
- What will each household look like after the divorce?
- What financial obligations will each person realistically be able to manage?
- What parenting arrangement will work in everyday life?
- Which assets are most important to each spouse?
- What needs to happen so both people can move forward?
A good settlement should not simply end today’s disagreement. It should provide enough clarity that both spouses understand their responsibilities after the divorce.
That is one of the greatest advantages of resolving your divorce through thoughtful discussion: you and your spouse remain the decision-makers.
A More Peaceful Way to Divorce in Florida
- An amicable divorce does not require a perfect relationship between spouses. It requires a willingness to communicate, exchange necessary information, consider reasonable solutions, and make decisions about the future.
- At Peacemaker Mediation Group, our approach is centered on civil discourse and resolution. We provide a neutral setting in which couples can work through the decisions required for divorce without automatically turning those decisions over to opposing attorneys and the court.
- When agreements are reached, we can prepare the Marital Settlement Agreement and other required divorce documents, assist with notarization and filing, and help move an uncontested matter through the Florida divorce process.
If you and your spouse are willing to work toward resolution, mediation may offer a more peaceful and cost-effective way forward.